2/25/05

Ten years ago…

the world was pretty different…

although, I’m sure it was not as different as it seems…

I don’t remember all the crazy technology, and the sense of entitlement that abounded…

but I could just have been sheltered from it all…

10 years ago — the world had you…

and all the wonderful things you did for everyone in your life…

today, it doesn’t…

and hasn’t… for 10 years…

that’s an entire decade…

I wonder sometimes how things would be if you were still here…

I mean, not that I’d change parts of my life now — I am in love with an amazing man, and I didn’t think back then that it would be possible…

but, I wonder what actually would be different…

and . . . all we were was friends ((great, amazing friends, but friends nonetheless))

when I wonder what would be different I also wonder about your family that was actually blood… (and marriage)

of course, I don’t even know how they are now, but would we all still be friends??

I mean, I totally understand if not… things happen, people change, time marches on…

well. except…

not always…

anyways, I wish I could lay 10 white roses on your grave today…

i’ll always remember you… and i’ll always miss you. . .

http://archive-origin.ksdk.com/news/article/75967/3/Community-Friends-Bid-Goodbye-To-April-Wheeler

Rest in Peace always April Christine Wheeler

7/3/75 – 2/25/05

9 Years Ago Today…

it’s been 9 years…
9 years since a tragedy happened …
9 years since something that you only see on the news … happened in real life…
9 years ago my best friend was killed in an act of senseless violence.
senseless domestic violence…
a reminder – domestic violence is not always limited to between a husband and a wife (or couple of any sorts)
my best friend was an innocent bystander trying to help a friend out in her time of need.
they both suffered for it.
i’d like to say that i think about you every day, April,
but unfortunately, time has gone on, and life has happened, and so much has changed between the me of then and the me of now…
I do, however, think of you occasionally…
and i wonder how life would be for you and for me…
would i have moved to Florida? (i like to believe so…if only for the fact that if i never did, i never would have met the love of my life)
i really would like to believe that we’d still be great friends.
you helped me through so much in my times of need, and we became quick friends . . . i do sometimes check in with Mark and say hi… your boys have gotten so big, and Jacob looks so much like you… more than he did in earlier years (my opinion) i wonder if they think of you… I know they are happy, and I hope you are looking down and smiling on them from above… and then sometimes I wonder if they remember me… but more than likely they don’t… that isn’t important… it’s important that they remember you and all the great things you did and were…
i hope that someone can visit your grave and put white roses on your grave… i know you didn’t approve of getting flowers, you were always so frugal and the money could have been used for other things that lasted (i came to adopt this sentiment)… but i think it’s the thought that counts… and i am sorry that i can’t do that any longer… and although i honor your memory – i don’t intend to ever inhabit St. Charles again, so i will never be able to continue that tradition (albeit one that i created for myself) …
i want you to know that i kept the coat you bought me for the longest time.. and on it – the ribbon that i made to support you and Kelly… i still have the ribbon, although i don’t wear it, but no longer do i own the coat… sometimes you just have to let go… but it was very hard for me to do…
you will always be in my heart even if i don’t realize it…
Rest In Peace always April Christine Wheeler…
❤