text: hey you doin ok?
my reply: yeah . . i’m fine. thanks.
what i REALLY wanted to say:
no, i’m going insane. all i want to do is sleep. . . i have no motivation to do anything… i want to work out, but i’m tired all the time. b/c i sleep all the time. . . my house is a mess, b/c i have no motivation to stay awake and clean it… i want to go out and eat, but i’m paranoid about my weight, so i don’t want to eat anything… i’m actually kind of hungry right now, but i most likely will not eat dinner b/c i don’t want to make it, and actually i do want to make it, i just don’t know WHAT to make… i wish to hell my husband was home… but he’s working 12-15 hour days to get the house done in order to come home on june 5… but even at that, he he thinks he might have to go back for another month when he comes home.. . i told him to just stay til it’s done, but he doesn’t want to do that… ((and honestly i need to see my husband…)) so with the fact that he’s working so long, i don’t get to talk to him much… and it sucks… and when we do talk, my missing him doesn’t equate to the words i’m saying, and i end up fighting with him b/c i don’t think he misses me as much as i miss him… but he has things to occupy his time… he even has friends to hang out with down there, but he’s too busy to see them… i have 4 friends here… and they have lives… unlike me currently… *sigh*
fuck… this sucks…
so. yeah. i’m complaining… don’t like it?? don’t read it…