no use for a name ((a little of this and a little of that))

so,

Christmas is in a few days…

IT’S SO CLOSE!!!

and, we were going to do very little for it this year, b/c of financial insecurity. but, now bear has a job, a good one at that, and we’re supposed to be receiving our remaining move money any minute now…

so, i don’t have to go tiny for christmas. last year we had a great christmas…

but, we kind of have everything we want…

for the most part.

i do know that he wants to finish his motorcycle… and his kayak… i gave him stuff for his birthday to finish his kayak, but due to his sleep schedule being messed up by mine being messed up, that hasn’t gone anywhere… annnnd… the motorcycle was a bit to pricey to finish until he got a job, so now he can do that…

but,

he wants a new bc for diving… that’s $700.

he wants a telescope — which would be cool! but, that’s $700

he wants a suit.. . the cheapest one i would buy for him ((just looking at one site… )) is $500…

um.

wow…

i did figure out some meaningless little thing… i’m not sure he’s gonna like it, and he very well may think it’s absolutely lame… but… *shrug* it’s just something i thought he’d be interested in, and i did get a little jokey gift, cuz i always do that… (i say always like it’s been many many years, and this is our 3rd christmas as a married couple together… our very first Christmas *together* we didn’t do anything for each other. no gifts. we got married the next day… and we went to my aunt’s house in florida for the actual holiday… or possibly christmas eve… not sure. but we had no tree, no gifts, no decorations… we were kind of broke… and the biggest thing was that we got to see each other at all.. and then the next day we were getting married… on the beach… i mean, honestly, what better gift can you have? i got my ring that week, so… even tho we didn’t actually celebrate christmas, it was a good one… we were together… and i hadn’t seen him since August…

our other christmases together as a married couple were good also. he finds gifts that suit me, and i do the same for him…

now, i do feel kind of bad,. b/c we don’t really do a lot in gifts for others… we don’t get much in the way of gifts from other people, and we give to those we get from, mainly his family. . . last year we got his mom tickets to a U2 concert, but we got them way before christmas… and he hadn’t gotten her a gift in a very long time…

but, his brother & sister buy things for us, even tho we don’t want them to. it’s not necessary and we tell them that all the time… b/c we don’t know what to get them!! this year is going to be a lot more difficult, cuz we aren’t there… and we don’t agree with the way things are going… and i know it’s better to give than recieve, but honestly, i don’t think they deserve to get anything… they are SO selfish… and are putting a certain someone through living hell. it’s not fair the way they treat this person, and she would be so much better if they hadn’t guilted her into staying…

UGH.

that’s another subject

and i don’t have a subject for this blog,  but that’s not it.

i think that right now this is just a post for my thoughts…

and it started out as a post about what the hell i’m gonna get husband for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!

altho i think it might make me sound very selfish..

but, ya know,

to a point i am — i enjoy my husband immensely . . . it saddens me to see people in loveless marriages, and who don’t like to spend time with their spouses and don’t get treated well by their spouses… i will tell you this, my husband spoils me like crazy… i’ve never been treated so well. . .
we do fight… and those fights suck…
but through it all, i love him so unbelievably much… and it drives me CRAZY and makes me mad on top of it when we are fighting, that i can’t hate him… i might wanna punch him in the face, but i still love him… there are just times when i don’t like him… ((when we fight, we fight mean))

and to that end, i want us to enjoy our life. honestly — that’s just one of the myriad of reasons that i don’t want kids. i want to enjoy him. i want to have him to  myself, and it works, cuz he doesn’t want children either… and i know so many people say, well if you don’t want kids, there is no reason to get married, but to you i say – that’s not true.
but, hey – to each their own…

a marriage shows that two people are truly committed to each other, and i know you can be committed to someone without being married – -but — if you don’t have that piece of paper, that ring, all that — what’s really stopping you from just walking away…

granted that makes it sound like a trap, but — that’s not what i’m saying . . .

when you go through the ceremony… you get that certificate, you exchange rings – you are showing the world that this is the person you want to be with . . . that you are willing to traverse this life together with this person, and you are going to work to make that happen.

that  is why it makes me so mad when people just get married for the hell of it. . . . and in the military — for the benefit of it… getting married purely for the benefits makes such a mockery out of marriage.. .it irritates me to no end.

anyways…

take from this what you will… i don’t have any purpose really other than to waste time and put my thoughts out there…

on a plus note– did i mention that bear got a job?? woohoo!!! 🙂

that makes me happy cuz it will make him happy, less stressed, and hopefully get him back on a healthy track!! yay !! 🙂

 

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About trozellerosio

I am me. that's really all there is to know. I am still figuring out exactly all that entails, but I think it takes a lifetime to do so...

Posted on December 14, 2012, in Life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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