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2/25/05

Ten years ago…

the world was pretty different…

although, I’m sure it was not as different as it seems…

I don’t remember all the crazy technology, and the sense of entitlement that abounded…

but I could just have been sheltered from it all…

10 years ago — the world had you…

and all the wonderful things you did for everyone in your life…

today, it doesn’t…

and hasn’t… for 10 years…

that’s an entire decade…

I wonder sometimes how things would be if you were still here…

I mean, not that I’d change parts of my life now — I am in love with an amazing man, and I didn’t think back then that it would be possible…

but, I wonder what actually would be different…

and . . . all we were was friends ((great, amazing friends, but friends nonetheless))

when I wonder what would be different I also wonder about your family that was actually blood… (and marriage)

of course, I don’t even know how they are now, but would we all still be friends??

I mean, I totally understand if not… things happen, people change, time marches on…

well. except…

not always…

anyways, I wish I could lay 10 white roses on your grave today…

i’ll always remember you… and i’ll always miss you. . .

http://archive-origin.ksdk.com/news/article/75967/3/Community-Friends-Bid-Goodbye-To-April-Wheeler

Rest in Peace always April Christine Wheeler

7/3/75 – 2/25/05

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on: the passing of friendships

so, there is that saying… every person comes in your life for a reason or a season… or — however it goes…

and… it’s true… and it sucks… you expect friends, especially good friends to last a lifetime…

and then they don’t… and it sucks…

did i mention — that it sucks??

and you do everything you can to try to revive the relationship… be it with a friend or a family member or whatever…

but … whatever it is you try… it ends… you lose that friend… that relationship and . . .

honestly i thought i would be more eloquent on this subject — it has happened to me so many times, and each time it happens, it doesn’t get any easier…

i lose a person that i trusted, and who knows plenty of information about me… and … it makes it so hard for me to trust anyone… cuz.. well, why — if i’m going to lose them and possibly risk compromising information being put out there if they decide that they want to end things badly…

but most times, it doesn’t end badly, it just ends.

time separates friends…

distance separates friends

and people just drift apart.

life happens… and things don’t stay the same…

and the differences make you a different person, and those differences are the seas that separate you . . .

it makes me sad sometimes, because it’s a heavy loss in some cases, in some cases a person might be relieved, but … i just feel sad when i lose a friend…

and being in the navy, i meet more people than the average person that isn’t in the service…

and i make friends with some of those people, become closer to some than others… and then… people get orders, people get out… things happen, people have kids and … well, i don’t want kids, and that causes a lack of time spent together… and another friendship down the drain…

 

 

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