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Jingle Bells… Who Smells?

So, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Here’s my yearly after Christmas post. The tree is still up (of course!) and the lights are aglow.  It’s two days after Christmas ya know.

Anyways!

Our Christmas was wonderful.  We went pretty low key this year and decided it was the last time that we will actually exchange gifts… (other than little trinkets I’m sure)… we have anything we could ever want… however, starting next year we’re going to just buy ourselves something that we keep putting off… i.e. new dishware, utensils, pots & pans, a mattress ((this is next years gift)) …

I know many couples who no longer exchange gifts… and I think it’s weird… but – it serves a purpose… granted most of those couples have children and shower them with gifts; but this will be good for us – it will give us a chance to get the things we need that are a bit more expensive, and if we have leftover money – we can donate it to good causes. 

This holiday I got husband a drone b/c it was less than half price; a set of bongos (cuz he’s silly like that… and apparently I’m a glutton for punishment) some underwear & t-shirts – cuz he needed them…his Pandora One subscription, a puzzle box that he’s been wanting… a custom made t-shirt that he’s had his heart set on for awhile… and some Ferrero Rocher chocolates as a stocking stuffer. . .

he got me enrolled as a distributor for Young Living Oils… which I don’t actually plan on trying to hit up my friends to sell to, I just want good prices on some of the Essential Oils… I’m interested in not putting so much crap into my body; so I figured I would try them out… plus he got me a bunch of stuff for my Silhouette Curio to try new crafts.

Our good friends got us some tiki torches (NICE ones!!) and … OMG the best!! a gift certificate to a cleaning service… I’m the WORST when it comes to cleaning… I honestly have NO earthly idea how some people have kids, go to school, work full time AND maintain their household… seriously — wtf?!?!?  so; this will help me out. 

we had a nice Christmas brunch with our friends after a good run to combat all the eating we planned on doing for Christmas day 🙂 then a great dinner at the same friends house. It was a balmy 85 on Christmas 🙂

For our anniversary we went to Lover’s Key and then to dinner at Tokyo Bay in Estero.  The beach was awesome. . . it’s wonderfully amazing to be able to enjoy the beach in DECEMBER… I know many Floridians are complaining because we haven’t gotten our winter weather yet – but — I’m loving it… I hate the cold!!

as for school – I got a 4.0 this semester; I’m on the President’s List – but I only found out that information today when I logged into the school’s website to look at some things… I guess it’s not a big deal since I wasn’t made aware of it before… it was tough… but I think that’s because I haven’t been in school for so very long; and in the time that has passed; a lot about me has changed… I didn’t use to have anxiety and now I do; so I was super paranoid about not passing something… (anything) and I was in general just super worried about all of it… this next semester I’m only taking 4 classes vs 5. but i’m still just as worried about them! Starting my summer semester I’ll be taking classes for my actual major. . . I have to determine what I want to minor in – I thought I would do digital media; but I have to take art classes; and I don’t draw well… what is in my mind does not translate to the paper… so I have to rethink that decision…

also this year – back story: last year we found out that I am of jewish heritage… this year husband bought me some Chanukah candles so that we could observe my heritage… not any part of faith; but just observing who I am in general… it was such a thoughtful gesture… reminds me of why I love him so much…

anyways; thus ends my blog update for the time being…

have a wonderful new year!!!

 

2/25/05

Ten years ago…

the world was pretty different…

although, I’m sure it was not as different as it seems…

I don’t remember all the crazy technology, and the sense of entitlement that abounded…

but I could just have been sheltered from it all…

10 years ago — the world had you…

and all the wonderful things you did for everyone in your life…

today, it doesn’t…

and hasn’t… for 10 years…

that’s an entire decade…

I wonder sometimes how things would be if you were still here…

I mean, not that I’d change parts of my life now — I am in love with an amazing man, and I didn’t think back then that it would be possible…

but, I wonder what actually would be different…

and . . . all we were was friends ((great, amazing friends, but friends nonetheless))

when I wonder what would be different I also wonder about your family that was actually blood… (and marriage)

of course, I don’t even know how they are now, but would we all still be friends??

I mean, I totally understand if not… things happen, people change, time marches on…

well. except…

not always…

anyways, I wish I could lay 10 white roses on your grave today…

i’ll always remember you… and i’ll always miss you. . .

http://archive-origin.ksdk.com/news/article/75967/3/Community-Friends-Bid-Goodbye-To-April-Wheeler

Rest in Peace always April Christine Wheeler

7/3/75 – 2/25/05

9 Years Ago Today…

it’s been 9 years…
9 years since a tragedy happened …
9 years since something that you only see on the news … happened in real life…
9 years ago my best friend was killed in an act of senseless violence.
senseless domestic violence…
a reminder – domestic violence is not always limited to between a husband and a wife (or couple of any sorts)
my best friend was an innocent bystander trying to help a friend out in her time of need.
they both suffered for it.
i’d like to say that i think about you every day, April,
but unfortunately, time has gone on, and life has happened, and so much has changed between the me of then and the me of now…
I do, however, think of you occasionally…
and i wonder how life would be for you and for me…
would i have moved to Florida? (i like to believe so…if only for the fact that if i never did, i never would have met the love of my life)
i really would like to believe that we’d still be great friends.
you helped me through so much in my times of need, and we became quick friends . . . i do sometimes check in with Mark and say hi… your boys have gotten so big, and Jacob looks so much like you… more than he did in earlier years (my opinion) i wonder if they think of you… I know they are happy, and I hope you are looking down and smiling on them from above… and then sometimes I wonder if they remember me… but more than likely they don’t… that isn’t important… it’s important that they remember you and all the great things you did and were…
i hope that someone can visit your grave and put white roses on your grave… i know you didn’t approve of getting flowers, you were always so frugal and the money could have been used for other things that lasted (i came to adopt this sentiment)… but i think it’s the thought that counts… and i am sorry that i can’t do that any longer… and although i honor your memory – i don’t intend to ever inhabit St. Charles again, so i will never be able to continue that tradition (albeit one that i created for myself) …
i want you to know that i kept the coat you bought me for the longest time.. and on it – the ribbon that i made to support you and Kelly… i still have the ribbon, although i don’t wear it, but no longer do i own the coat… sometimes you just have to let go… but it was very hard for me to do…
you will always be in my heart even if i don’t realize it…
Rest In Peace always April Christine Wheeler…

snickelfritz

so, when i was in my hometown… – note that — my hometown, not home…
let me explain something here before i go into this blog detail.
i grew up… well.
i was in the kc area (an hour south) until the summer of my 7th grade year…
then we moved to the STL area … i lived there until 2009. Jan 1 to be exact.
and then i moved to florida.
i have NEVER felt more at home than i did in florida.
it’s amazing.
and then, i met my husband… so… i feel like it’s where we belong.
it’s my home. it’s OUR home.
BUT.
i do have a ton of friends in stl … of course. i was there for over half of my life.
(ok right at half of my life) … well. . . until i moved to florida. i don’t know.
how old is a person in 7th grade… ?? whatever. til i was 29…(*right* before i turned 30)
ok. anyways, i digress.

so. anyways.
although the reason for my visit back to stl was a sad reason, i did get to see several friends…
including 2 of my best friends.
E & L
(not at the same time)
i was kinda sad not to get to see J… but she had already made plans… and — it was kind of last minute… so…*shrug*
i ALSO got to see a couple of my high school besties!!
it was great to be able to catch up with everyone.
with L, we discussed her upcoming nuptials… for which i’m super excited for her!!
with E, i met her youngest … who is going to be 2… and let me tell you what happened…
i pulled up to her mom’s house – kind of by surprise… and her 2 kids were at the top of the driveway, and i walked into the driveway, and
her little boy (youngest, who i’d never met) just walks right up to me arms open.
now, he is just adorable. i don’t like kids — but… her kids are seriously the cutest blondest little things in the world
SO ADORABLE!!!!!!
and i’d met her oldest (who will be 4 soon? or just turned 4? ) before… and of course she doesn’t remember me…
but, her little boy decided i was the greatest fun in the world and just kept running up to me and all that stuff.
apparently — he doesn’t do that…
she was shocked…
but, i got to catch up with her… not that i need much catching up — cuz we talk all the time… but she did offer me support on the subject of dealing with my family… and it was just so great to see her in person, instead of texting or emailing…
and then we went to the bowling alley to meet up with the high school girls… we tried to get more people involved, but lack of numbers, and last minute planning… well… *shrug* 2 of them were there, which is just fine… one of them – Ji – was the first person to befriend me when i started 8th grade in the area… and the other – Je – just became a good friend through the years… so i hung out with those two & E and Je’s baby…
yea — i know… babies…me??? who’d’a’thunk it… {is that how you spell that??}
but… i got to hand them back, so all is good 🙂
and i also got to spend some time with my cousin T.
i know i mentioned that in my previous post, but… i’m very happy for her and her new happiness with her new man… 🙂
and then i got to do lunch with E before i left… and omg — if you’re in the o’fallon mo area — try rendezvous wine bar.. because it was DELICIOUS!!!!

so… i totally miss my friends… all the time.. .but i’m so happy i was able to see some of them.

how do you know

if you’re in love…

this was a question posed to the shop tonight…

and i have the perfect answer (seriously is that how you spell that?!? – it definitely doesn’t look correct)

anyways –

i’ve always known when i was in love (not that it’s happened TONS of times…) when i look at that person and i literally feel butterflies in my stomach…

kinda like when you go down a hill on a road in a car and you’re not paying attention — you get all fluttery in the tummy —  i get that way when i look at my husband…

when you’re in love with someone – even when you’re fighting – you still love that person so much… even when you want to hate them – it’s just impossible… you want to say the meanest things – but you just can’t…

and i do love my husband more than i ever thought possible…

and i wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world…

he is my everything… and i love him…

 

after the question was asked, i just so happened to stumble upon a site that had children defining love in their own terms… it was just coincidental timing, but so funny that it happened at that point, she asked the question, i hit stumble, and there was the site…

no use for a name ((a little of this and a little of that))

so,

Christmas is in a few days…

IT’S SO CLOSE!!!

and, we were going to do very little for it this year, b/c of financial insecurity. but, now bear has a job, a good one at that, and we’re supposed to be receiving our remaining move money any minute now…

so, i don’t have to go tiny for christmas. last year we had a great christmas…

but, we kind of have everything we want…

for the most part.

i do know that he wants to finish his motorcycle… and his kayak… i gave him stuff for his birthday to finish his kayak, but due to his sleep schedule being messed up by mine being messed up, that hasn’t gone anywhere… annnnd… the motorcycle was a bit to pricey to finish until he got a job, so now he can do that…

but,

he wants a new bc for diving… that’s $700.

he wants a telescope — which would be cool! but, that’s $700

he wants a suit.. . the cheapest one i would buy for him ((just looking at one site… )) is $500…

um.

wow…

i did figure out some meaningless little thing… i’m not sure he’s gonna like it, and he very well may think it’s absolutely lame… but… *shrug* it’s just something i thought he’d be interested in, and i did get a little jokey gift, cuz i always do that… (i say always like it’s been many many years, and this is our 3rd christmas as a married couple together… our very first Christmas *together* we didn’t do anything for each other. no gifts. we got married the next day… and we went to my aunt’s house in florida for the actual holiday… or possibly christmas eve… not sure. but we had no tree, no gifts, no decorations… we were kind of broke… and the biggest thing was that we got to see each other at all.. and then the next day we were getting married… on the beach… i mean, honestly, what better gift can you have? i got my ring that week, so… even tho we didn’t actually celebrate christmas, it was a good one… we were together… and i hadn’t seen him since August…

our other christmases together as a married couple were good also. he finds gifts that suit me, and i do the same for him…

now, i do feel kind of bad,. b/c we don’t really do a lot in gifts for others… we don’t get much in the way of gifts from other people, and we give to those we get from, mainly his family. . . last year we got his mom tickets to a U2 concert, but we got them way before christmas… and he hadn’t gotten her a gift in a very long time…

but, his brother & sister buy things for us, even tho we don’t want them to. it’s not necessary and we tell them that all the time… b/c we don’t know what to get them!! this year is going to be a lot more difficult, cuz we aren’t there… and we don’t agree with the way things are going… and i know it’s better to give than recieve, but honestly, i don’t think they deserve to get anything… they are SO selfish… and are putting a certain someone through living hell. it’s not fair the way they treat this person, and she would be so much better if they hadn’t guilted her into staying…

UGH.

that’s another subject

and i don’t have a subject for this blog,  but that’s not it.

i think that right now this is just a post for my thoughts…

and it started out as a post about what the hell i’m gonna get husband for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!

altho i think it might make me sound very selfish..

but, ya know,

to a point i am — i enjoy my husband immensely . . . it saddens me to see people in loveless marriages, and who don’t like to spend time with their spouses and don’t get treated well by their spouses… i will tell you this, my husband spoils me like crazy… i’ve never been treated so well. . .
we do fight… and those fights suck…
but through it all, i love him so unbelievably much… and it drives me CRAZY and makes me mad on top of it when we are fighting, that i can’t hate him… i might wanna punch him in the face, but i still love him… there are just times when i don’t like him… ((when we fight, we fight mean))

and to that end, i want us to enjoy our life. honestly — that’s just one of the myriad of reasons that i don’t want kids. i want to enjoy him. i want to have him to  myself, and it works, cuz he doesn’t want children either… and i know so many people say, well if you don’t want kids, there is no reason to get married, but to you i say – that’s not true.
but, hey – to each their own…

a marriage shows that two people are truly committed to each other, and i know you can be committed to someone without being married – -but — if you don’t have that piece of paper, that ring, all that — what’s really stopping you from just walking away…

granted that makes it sound like a trap, but — that’s not what i’m saying . . .

when you go through the ceremony… you get that certificate, you exchange rings – you are showing the world that this is the person you want to be with . . . that you are willing to traverse this life together with this person, and you are going to work to make that happen.

that  is why it makes me so mad when people just get married for the hell of it. . . . and in the military — for the benefit of it… getting married purely for the benefits makes such a mockery out of marriage.. .it irritates me to no end.

anyways…

take from this what you will… i don’t have any purpose really other than to waste time and put my thoughts out there…

on a plus note– did i mention that bear got a job?? woohoo!!! 🙂

that makes me happy cuz it will make him happy, less stressed, and hopefully get him back on a healthy track!! yay !! 🙂

 

haha what?!!?

so my amazing husband in all his love and generosity . .. after his hair cut yesterday — took me to Baskin Robbins.

i looked at him in shock… why are you taking me here?!?! he said b/c i want ice cream, it’s so good!! come on it will be fun!

i just couldn’t believe it. . .

it was funny… and confusing… b/c here i am trying to lose weight and he supports my decision and chides me for straying from my diet, but he said since i didn’t have many calories for the day yesterday and i worked out 3 times, i should get some ice cream.  “whatever you want” he says…

i chose the rainbow sherbert b/c i’m sure it was the least amount of calories in the store…

my bear is a silly bear ❤

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